Nonsense Engine: On my lawn

Paynes Prairie, cattails, water, grasses, sky. UF/IFAS Photo: Josh Wickham

Paynes Prairie, cattails, water, grasses, sky. UF/IFAS Photo: Josh Wickham

The eagle flew out of the night. He came in close and I heard a voice. He told me something something and I threw a tiny green jello cube up at him and he went away. As I stood on my wailing cat’s tail, the smallish cube of jello dropped slowly and finally hit the ground, bouncing like a cotton ball but exploding like a grenade. A minuscule fragment of adamantium jello screamed across the above ground atmosphere, then struck and shattered my screeching cat’s tiny yellowish eyeball. Three and a half seconds ticked excruciatingly by as I waited for my cat to move. In a blinding flash of darkness, he imploded with all the fury and thrashing indignity of an Australian table wine hitting the side of the USS Arizona. Moving at the hurtling speed of a rusted Tonka truck, the cat sucked me into an ever-widening hole of negative energy. Suddenly, there were firemen all around me, throwing hoses and smoked pastrami sandwiches as I was sucked further downwards into the swirling nothingness, ever closer to the crunching laughter of Mephistopheles, who must wait below. The hole began closing over my head as my taut white fingers scrabbled at the loose earth at the edge of the hole. I looked up out of the black velveted innerness to the bright lights of reality and the last thing I saw before the hole closed over my head was John Lennon looking down at me, really leaning over and combing his beard. “Bad vibes, man,” he said.

 

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